University Puts Nobel Prize Winner on Performance Improvement Plan, Threatens Him with Termination

Alexander Clearwater, Professor of Behavioral Economics at Stultus University, based in Hemel Hempstead, England, is reported to have been placed on a performance improvement plan (PIP) by the Dean of Economics. Professor Clearwater holds a Ph.D. in Economics from Cambridge University and has taught Economic Sciences at Stultus University since he joined as a LecturerContinue reading “University Puts Nobel Prize Winner on Performance Improvement Plan, Threatens Him with Termination”

Reviewer 2 Arrested for Harassment, Mail Fraud

The Federal Bureau of Investigation today announced that Reviewer 2 has been arrested and is in custody. According to Special Agent Penny Smith, the arrest was bittersweet. “We were initially looking for Anonymous, you know, the computer hacker collective. We thought we tracked them down to a leafy suburb just east of St Paul, Minnesota.Continue reading “Reviewer 2 Arrested for Harassment, Mail Fraud”

University HR Investigates Itself, Finds Itself Innocent

Bullying and harassment are endemic to higher education. Fortunately, victims can turn to an objective human resources department to have perpetrators investigated fairly and in line with the principle of natural justice. Louisa Carter, an HR Business Partner at Malum University, takes pride in holding bullies accountable for their actions. “We at Malum University haveContinue reading “University HR Investigates Itself, Finds Itself Innocent”

University President Acquires Nuclear Weapons

University administrators across the world are losing patience with insubordinate and disobedient faculty. A recent report from the Institute of University Affairs illustrates the extent of the problem nationwide. A record high 92 percent of full-time university faculty either Agree or Strongly Agree with the statement, “I don’t give a f^*k about what my PresidentContinue reading “University President Acquires Nuclear Weapons”

Professor Struggles to Find New Ways to Flatter Reviewers

Dr. Dirk Johnson, Professor of Sociology at a regional university in the Midwest of the United States, reports that he’s really struggling to come up with new and innovative ways to flatter reviewers in his author’s note. “I mean, let’s face it. Reviewers only care about one thing: leveraging power in the peer review process.Continue reading “Professor Struggles to Find New Ways to Flatter Reviewers”

Should the Nobel Prize Have Gender or Ethnicity Quotas?

The Nobel Prizes were announced last week. Winning one is widely thought to be the “end all, be all” of academic achievement. Nothing is more impressive than a Nobel. I have no chance of winning a Nobel prize because, alas, they don’t offer one in the field of management. But I still hold out hopeContinue reading “Should the Nobel Prize Have Gender or Ethnicity Quotas?”

Why We Hate Meetings and How to Make Them Better

Work meetings are universally loathed, but none more so than the dreaded faculty meeting. When I was a PhD student at Cambridge, I heard rumors that the markings on the walls were from repair work following the odd angry fist that that broke through the plaster during a heating meeting. I very much doubt thatContinue reading “Why We Hate Meetings and How to Make Them Better”

The Key to Productivity: No TV, No Video Games at Home

Something wild and out-of-control has taken place in the Timming household. I never imagined it was possible, but here I am. Against every fiber of my being, we caved in and bought a Nintendo Switch Lite, a handheld console for playing next generation video games. I say this is “wild and out-of-control” because I’ve notContinue reading “The Key to Productivity: No TV, No Video Games at Home”

Why Inter-Disciplinary Research is Cursed

Inter-disciplinary research is all the rage these days. Investigating a research problem through the lens of a single discipline is simply not enough to get a full understanding of “what’s going on,” or so we are told. Funding bodies want to see cross-disciplinary collaborations to solve complex problems before committing cash to a project. JournalsContinue reading “Why Inter-Disciplinary Research is Cursed”

Coping with Social Rejection

To anyone who’s ever been rejected, ignored, or excluded by someone more “popular” than you are, this article’s for you. I am not an important man, although importance is a relative concept. I’ve written books and published articles. My research has been reported in international media outlets like The Economist, the Financial Times, and BBCContinue reading “Coping with Social Rejection”